Book Review: A Red State of Mind by Nancy French

How do I review this book, except to see how it's given me a chance to catch up with my old friend Nancy, and to understand her more than I thought I ever would? This can't be an objective view of the book for the book's sake. Instead it's a reflection on my friend's state of mind, mixed in with my memory of her actions.

Nancy and I were friends when I was a newlywed. We went to church together for about a year, and she and David hosted our small group. After that I saw her a couple of times. One of those times they were visiting from Ithaca, staying with her in-laws. Miraculously, there was an opening in their schedule one evening and they came to our house for dinner. We talked and talked and talked. We talked about how we just didn't fit in, and I felt like they understood. Because I guess they felt the same way. That evening refreshed both Eric and me in a way we hadn't been expecting. Years later I was preparing a talk on hospitality for MOPS. I came across a statement I loved - "True hospitality makes a guest feel better about themselves just for having been in your home." My mind immediately shot back to that evening with David and Nancy. Sure, we hosted them at our home, but I think they offered hospitality to me in a way that did just as that quote describes.

Maybe that's why they were so popular. While they lived in Georgetown we never got very close because they already had so many friends. I was still an awkward teenager at this time, and I was amazed at Nancy's sophistication and far-out stories. Now I'm comfortable with myself, and I realize that we're all basically on a level playing field. Still, I think that both Nancy and David have so much charisma and such great personalities that they're pretty much set in any situation. Imagine my surprise to hear her doubts about herself. Worried about fitting in. Not fitting in sometimes. Wow.

In her book, she talks about the ideas and actions of people from red vs. blue states. Her stories from the South sounded familiar and accurate to me. So I'll choose to believe she's also accurately representing the North, where she's lived off and on for 8 years or so. It's shocking. I did not realize the cultural divide. I think these stories are supposed to bring us Democrats and Republicans together a little bit. It's not working that way for me. Sometimes the northerners sound mean, other times viscious, and other times just plain cuckoo. She mentions that someone is shocked when she reveals her conservative identity and remarks, "But you seem so reasonable!" Well, yeah, Nancy's reasonable. So am I. But could she describe most of the liberals she met there as reasonable? I used to think so. Now, I highly doubt it.

The North and South Nancy knows provide a stark contrast, and it was fun for me to throw what I know about the Midwest into the mix. Now, there's the gray...or is it purple? The people in Iowa have almost no outward diversity. In the high school that was considered "all black," only 17% of the students were minority. At UNI, where I attended college, there were about 7,000 to 10,000 students. The university boasted that over 100 of the students were foreign. That diversity, or lack thereof, is almost laughable. But in ideology, there was quite a bit of diversity - and also respect. Sure, everything tended toward Democrat and Union. And everyone was Christian in name, but my "Christian" coworkers had never heard the term "saved" used in a religious reference before me. Now, thinking back on it, I'm hopeful. "Can't we all just get along?" In Iowa, we usually did. And the polls showed it. Bush narrowly took the state in 2004. I don't say much for Iowa, but I must say that I reckon there was a pretty good blending of ideals there. Now, that's the Kentucky talkin'!

This book is also Nancy's autobiography...so far. I've been reading this book while Eric is in Germany, and these stories have really kept me from feeling so lonely. Thanks, Nancy! I remember many of the stories from conversations with her. I enjoyed the new ones, seeing where her life has been going since we parted. The Georgetown years are my history, too, and brought me back to my newlywed days.

All in all, I'm glad I read this book. Glad I bought this book. It's pretty cool to see Nancy's thoughts in print, sort of official. It shows me that we can do neat stuff. It reminds me of all the people I know who've done extraordinary things. It even reminds me that I did a pretty extraordinary thing myself. (Yeah, the Grebbel Shoppe was maybe a little stupid, but extraordinary all the same.) Best yet, it makes me excited to see all the extraordinary things my friends and I will do in the future!

http://www.nancyfrench.com/